Catch up on some related episodes:

Today’s talking points:

We might think we’re well rested because we had a good night's sleep, but did you know there are actually seven different types of rest?

Here’s how we can all manage and combat the guilt when it comes to taking time off as a business owner.

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Today, I’m talking about a tender topic that I hope completely changes your perspective…

This one has been a long time coming - we are talking about REST. Good old fashioned rest. Not boiling the kettle, scrolling on my phone kind of rest. I mean real rest.

This is a huge thing for me as a mum, especially because I work 4 days a week and shorter hours, plus I have more time off than I did previously.

But also, this is always a HUGE topic of conversation among my clients.

It’s a big thing they come to for me as their coach, it’s what they want most in the world…

And it’s also what some of their biggest breakthroughs or wins have been around.

So it’s about time it became a topic on the podcast, don’t you think?

Let’s dive in.

the seven types of rest

A simple way of checking in with yourself to figure out if you’re getting enough rest is by asking how your soul is.

Seriously, how is your soul? Close your eyes and go inward. This is going to let us know if you're getting enough rest or not.

If you're not feeling rested I need you to know that there are seven different types of rest that you need. Yes, seven different types.

Most of us are missing out on the other types of rest that we desperately need. The result of that is a culture of high achieving, high producing chronically tired and chronically burned out individuals. We are basically suffering from a rest deficit because we don't understand the true power of rest and rest should equal restoration in seven key areas of your life.

Okay, so let’s dive deep into the types of rest.

1. Physical rest

This can be passive or active - so passive physical rest includes sleeping and taking naps and active rest means more restorative activities, including yoga, stretching, and massage therapy, for example. The solution to this one is fairly simple, sleep more and move your body more.

2. Mental rest

The second type of rest is mental rest.

So do you know someone who could be a co-worker or a family member, who starts work every day with a huge cup of coffee, and they're often irritable, and forgetful, and they have a difficult time concentrating on their work? When they lie down at night to sleep, they frequently struggle to turn off their brain as conversations from the day fill their thoughts. Despite sleeping seven to eight hours, they wake up feeling as if they never went to bed. This person, whether I'm talking about you, or someone you know, is a classic example of someone who has a mental rest deficit.

Now the good news is for mental rest, you don't have to quit your job or book a holiday. To fix this we basically want to schedule short breaks every two-ish hours throughout your workday, because these breaks are there to remind you to slow down.

It's also a really good idea to keep a notepad or a journal by your bed to jot down any nagging thoughts that would usually keep you awake.

3. Sensory rest

The third type of rest that we need is sensory rest, so bright lights, computer screens, background noise and multiple conversations, whether they're in an office or on Zoom calls, can really cause our senses to be overwhelmed.

This can be countered by doing something as simple as closing your eyes for a minute in the middle of the day and just taking a few deep breaths, as well as intentionally unplugging from electronics at the end of every day.

Intentional moments of sensory deprivation can begin to undo the damage which has been inflicted by our overstimulating world.

4. creative rest

The fourth type of rest is creative rest. This type of rest is especially important for anyone who has to solve problems or come up with new ideas on a regular basis. Which, if you're a business owner, that's probably you.

So creative rest reawakens the wonder inside of each of us. This is things like allowing yourself to take in the beauty of the outdoors, even if it's a local park or in your garden that provides you with creative rest. It also includes actual creativity and art, so turning your workspace into a place of inspiration by displaying images of places you love and works of art that speak to you. You can't spend however many hours a week staring at blank or jumbled surroundings and expect to feel passionate about anything much less come up with innovative ideas.

5. emotional rest

The fifth type of rest is emotional rest, which means having the time and space to freely express your feelings, and cut back on people pleasing. This requires the courage to be authentic.

When you are emotionally rested you can answer the question ‘How are you today?’ with a truthful response.

If you're in need of emotional rest, that leads us to the sixth type of rest that we need.

6. Social rest

Social rest. A social risk deficit occurs when we fail to differentiate between the relationships that revive us from the relationships that exhaust us.

To experience more social rest, we want to make sure we're surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people. Even if your interactions have to occur virtually, you can still choose to engage more fully in them by turning on your camera, and really being present and focusing on who you're speaking to.

7. Spiritual rest

And the final type of rest is spiritual rest, which is the ability to connect beyond the physical and the mental and to feel a deep sense of belonging, acceptance and purpose.

In order to receive this, this is about really engaging in things that are going to fill up your cup and fill up your soul. This could be things like journaling, meditation, visualisation, community involvement, and making sure that those are included in your daily routine.

So as you can see, if we're saying, “oh, I rest when I sleep”, that's not necessarily going to restore us to the point that we actually feel rested. It’s about time that we all begin to focus on getting the right type of rest that we actually need.

rest is productive

A lot of us feel guilty about the concept of rest, and struggle to actually take time off and make space in our calendars. In fact, it seems so rare that we have those moments where nothing is happening with just free, white space.

I read a great book called ‘Ruthless Elimination of Hurry’ by John Mark Comer and there's a part where he highlights that there used to be a time when we actually experienced boredom and we did nothing.

For example, when you were on a flight and you finished your book earlier than planned so you just have to sit and stare out the window because you're nothing else to do.

Or pre-phones when you would stand in a queue and do nothing else, or wait for a kettle to boil for example.

Nowadays, we have our smartphones in hand 24/7 and often TV, radio, or a podcast on in the background.

A foundational mindset thing to cover is that so many of us associate rest with feeling guilty or being unproductive. That’s really what we’re talking about here.

So the first thing that I want to say about this is what I say to all of my clients on this topic, I've said this to them throughout my career as a coach and I've said it to so many different people I've worked with.

You need to shift the mindset that says rest is not productive. Because rest is productive. Rest is not lazy. Rest is not bad. Rest is not unproductive.

This is where we first have to approach the conversation. I think the reality for a lot of us is that we feel as if rest is the reward but in reality, rest is oftentimes the most productive thing you could possibly do.

You accomplish so much through resting, you are accomplishing rejuvenation of your body and your soul and your mind when you are resting.

Our society and our brains have twisted this version of success and productivity into something that means we're constantly doing something; constantly hustling and constantly striving.

If you are struggling with that accomplishment and productivity mindset, it's important to realise more does not always equal better. More often, it can equal worse.

I’ve experienced it myself. Those times when my brain has felt super foggy, I’ve lost concentration but have felt the pressure to push through anyway.

The reality is that I learned the hard way that pushing through often means doing lower-quality work in more time. So you're working longer, burning yourself out more, and getting less done productively. Nobody wants that.

So when we realise that rest will lead to us getting more done, whilst feeling more rejuvenated, more alive, more rested, and more focused, we will finally start to rest more.

Rest is truly productive, never forget that.

changing the narrative - resting and motherhood

This is obviously a topic very close to my heart, so I felt this was a perspective worth sharing in relation to this topic of rest.

Everyone in the world is striving for success, striving for career achievement, striving for this hustle and anything else in the world that's not that is viewed as negative.

I think this is exactly why stay-at-home motherhood is viewed so negatively (which is obviously not how it should be!).

When it comes to the stay-at-home motherhood thing, I feel a lot of the negative views came from the feminist movement. I’m all for empowering women, it goes without saying that I’m a feminist, my career and life wouldn’t even be possible without the movement. However, the point I’m trying to make is that I feel feminism lead to the narrative in society today that being a mother only is not good enough.

Even now a lot of stay-at-home mums respond with “Oh, I’m just a stay-at-home mum” when they’re asked what they do for a living. Where did that come from? Why are we saying I'm just a stay-at-home mum? “I'm just a mother” as if you don't have a job that's fulfilling and difficult and so, so important.

Part of the movement was for women to have more and they absolutely, 100000% should. But for some people, including myself, part of my purpose is to raise the next generation as the world changes. That's a big calling in my life that I will gratefully live out for the rest of my life. There is nothing wrong with wanting that for my life. I don't think that's lesser than building a multimillion-dollar company. It’s absolutely just as valid.

Yes, I’m a mum and I run a successful business so I have both, but the point I’m trying to make is that we don’t need to have or want both. You can want to be a mum only and that’s enough. You can be a business owner with no children, that’s enough. You can be everything and anything in between, that’s enough. The key is, if that’s what you want then it’s absolutely enough!

Whether you’re a parent or not, it’s just a reminder that we can’t base our worth on these worldly medals, accomplishments or achievements. It's based on your own definition of success, which will look completely different for everyone.

Some people want the space to raise their kids while they have this hobby business on the side and the most successful thing they could possibly do with their life is to be able to blend and balance both.

You know, as much as we're not made to work 24/7, we're also not made to rest 24/7. Your whole life should not be one or the other, they should just go hand in hand because we are made for both and so we should embrace both.

Work is not better than rest and rest is not better than work. We were designed for both.

try this exercise

For those of you who are reading this right now and are agreeing with all of it but struggling with the guilt, then I’ve got an exercise for you.

It’ll help you have a leader picture of what you're working towards so you can understand what's going to help you get there.

Get a pen and paper ready and answer these questions.

What is the most important thing to me? What actually matters to me at the end of the day.
What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want to be known for?
What do you want to be remembered for? Do you want to be remembered? Do you just want peace and joy? Maybe you want to be remembered as a patient parent, or a successful business owner.

Take time to write down what is genuinely important to you, not what society says should matter to you, not what you feel you should care about.

Look at the things you've written down that relate to rest and carving our space for you and your loved ones. That's the point of this exercise, to help you gain clarity on what you want to be doing and what matters to you and your life. You can then figure out what steps you are going to take to help you get there - and I guarantee that rest is going to be in some of those steps.