Catch up on some related episodes:

How to figure out what's a priority (when everything feels like a priority)

Today’s talking points:

Ever feel like giving it all up and going back to your corporate role? We’ve all been there. But I’ve got you, here is what you can do instead.

Check out my latest resources

Why do successful people quit their businesses? Perplexing, right?

In this episode, we are going to talk about the paradox of successful people quitting, why it happens, and what to do if you ever face this in your business.

I will walk you through a conversation that I had with my client which inspired this episode, as well as elements of my own story (so this will be a bit of a vulnerable share!)

We will chat through:

What circumstances led to my client experiencing this
My experience with fear and shame in my own business and how it led to me wanting to burn everything down
What happens when shame is in the driver’s seat trying to run our business
How I would coach you through other options/routes to go down if you were my client

If you resonate with this, I really hope it gives you the clarity you’re looking for!

Why like you want to quit…

So, this topic genuinely fascinates me. This episode was sparked by a conversation I had with a previous private client of mine. You see, one thing about me is that I coach my clients intensely, not just on business but on life too. Many of them describe our work together as life-changing, saying they feel like completely different people afterwards.

Now, let me spill some tea about this chat with one of my past clients. The inspiration struck me recently, especially with the surge of people quitting their businesses or taking long breaks. So, during our conversation, this client of mine, who's doing incredibly well and is very successful, particularly with a lucrative membership voiced her concerns.

On this call, we were talking about a successful membership that she has and had worked really hard to make it successful. This membership is bringing in four figures a month on autopilot. It costs her very little to run, she has some team support to help her run it, she has to put in a certain number of hours each week to keep this thing going and that's it. Sounds pretty great, right?

But it's not always that straightforward. My client’s fabulous brain was still trying to protect her from pain She felt like the membership is over and that she was unsure if she should commit to it for another year. Although it was bringing in great money, she was unsure if she wanted new sign-ups just incase she had to take it away.

As counterintuitive as it seems, it really reminds me so much of myself, especially last year.

So if you've been listening to this podcast, you know that I went through a real dark night of the soul last year, and started to completely pivot my business. I had this kind of hybrid group program/membership that was pretty successful and growing. But when we decided to expand our family and I fell pregnant in January 2023, I just knew that program wasn't part of my future. But I hesitated to make the call because fear crept in. My business was really taking off, but as it grew, I became terribly afraid that I wasn't doing enough for my clients. Or maybe more accurately, I was doing well in the moment, but I felt stretched to the limit and unsure how to scale. So, I was genuinely scared it was just a matter of time before I disappointed everyone and they all turned against me.

For my client, her situation was similar. Different circumstances, but similar thoughts and feelings. She was watching her recent launches of this membership appear smaller and smaller. She's looking at the numbers, she's having thoughts like ‘I'm a failure, I'm failing my family, this isn't working, this is over.’ even while still running that successful membership that brings in four figures a month for only a few hours a week. In so many ways, it's the dream but she's still looking at the data of her recent launch and thinking it’s over and that maybe she should walk away.

Again with me and my business, everything was going super well but my feeling and my thought was this is only a matter of time before I let everybody down and they hated me because I couldn't figure out how to grow further from here. Looking back, I realise now that this feeling we discussed in our coaching call with my client stemmed from shame.

What happens when shame is in the driver’s seat trying to run our business

Shame is an incredibly powerful emotion. It will convince you to burn your business to the ground, even if it's successful. Shame in our businesses sounds like, “I'm not good enough, they don't like me enough, I'm a failure, I'm going to let my family down, I'm going to let my clients down.”

Here's the kicker, it also sounds like: “This is going to hurt me so I'm going to end this to protect myself.” That's what shame has us do when shame is driving; it will light and try to burn everything to the ground every single time.

Shame is an incredibly potent motivator. It'll have you convinced that you've failed or are on the brink of failure, even when, from an objective standpoint, everything seems to be going swimmingly. On the surface, to an outsider, it might appear that all is well, that it's a breeze for you. In reality, more things are going right than wrong. But when shame takes the wheel, we need to tread carefully. When you sense your ego creeping in, trying to persuade you that you're foolish, incompetent, or just one misstep away from being cancelled, that's all shame talking.

You’re in a relationship with your business

So, we had this incredible conversation during a client call recently. One of the things we delved into was how owning a business isn't all that different from being in a relationship. In many ways, we're actually in a relationship with our businesses, each and every one of us. For both my client and myself, we've been in these business relationships for years now. The honeymoon phase? Well, that's long gone.

For all you starry-eyed entrepreneurs just starting out, dreaming of reaching certain milestones, let me tell you, there's something truly magical about that honeymoon phase. You're burning the midnight oil, working through lunch breaks, all because it feels like endless opportunity lies ahead. Now, I'm not saying it's a breeze; starting out certainly isn't. But there's this honeymoon period where everything seems possible, and you feel like you have little to lose because you're just starting out.

Fast forward a few years into the business, and yes, you still love what you do. But let's face it, the honeymoon period is over. It's time to acknowledge that. You start entertaining thoughts of calling it quits, wondering what life would be like with someone else/ doing something else. It's like getting a wandering eye for your business. You start thinking, "This is going to fail, and I'd rather end it now before it ends me."

It always comes back to mindset, it always comes back to the brain. And it's true. Our brains are remarkable, always looking out for us. While most of us aren't living in constant fear of being eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger anymore, our brains haven't caught up to that reality. So when they sense danger, they'll throw any thought at us to keep us safe, even if it means scaring us half to death.

So my client came to me saying, "I'm afraid this is over. The launches keep shrinking. I think it's done." Her brain was interpreting that as an imminent danger, sounding the alarm bells vut what if we looked at it from a different angle? What if there's just a leak somewhere that needs fixing? What if we didn't just abandon ship at the first sign of trouble and instead fix it or make it better?

There are other options. Like, taking action to address the issue, getting creative, problem-solving, or seeking coaching—seriously, boss, get coaching. When my client said all of this, we tackled it together and by the end of our call, she was in a completely different headspace. (Spoiler alert, she didn't end the membership or remove people from annual plans. Instead, she geared up to tackle the problem head-on and fight for the offer).

Consider the relationship analogy again. Much like in a relationship, you have choices. You could walk away when things get tough—because they will get tough. But for many of us, falling in love with the same person again or staying in love is a conscious decision. It's about choosing to see the good and not getting hung up on the little annoyances. The same goes for our offers. Maybe you've had the same offer for years, and you need to ask yourself, "How can I fall in love with this offer again?"

This is something I've grappled with in my own business and it led to me retiring one of my programs in 2023 and completely revamping my offerings. Now, with the Embodied Boss Collective and the Boss 360 Club, I'm absolutely obsessed but it took work to get here. I realised I wasn't showing my business enough love; I wasn't nurturing it. Instead, I was sitting there, fearing it would hurt me, without doing anything to mend the relationship.

After working through this with my client, she also realised that she’d put this membership offer on a pedestal, believing that if it failed her whole business would be over. I get that. But we need to remember that any offer we have is just one way of making money. There are other opportunities out there.

How I would coach you through other options/routes to go down if you were my client

So, I have a couple of coaching options that might interest you. First off, we can focus on fixing your offer. There's a lot we can do to address why your launches have been shrinking. It's a problem we can solve. We might need to rethink how we position it, adjust our marketing approach, or try different types of launch events. If we haven't tried webinars before, that could be worth exploring. Perhaps we need to tap into other audiences. There are countless strategies we can implement to give your offer a better shot at a successful launch.

Another aspect we can work on is reminding ourselves that even if one of our offers reaches the end of its lifecycle, it's not the end of the world. I've seen many people fail to give themselves credit for creating successful offers. They attribute all the success to the offer itself, thinking it was some sort of magic formula. But what I help my clients understand is that it's not just about the offer. It's about their skill set and their innate ability to attract clients across various offers—whether it's one-on-one coaching, a group program, or a membership. When you believe in your ability to help people and recognise your expertise, you understand that your success isn't tied to one specific offer. It's in you, and it's always been there. If you've done it once, you can do it again. I can personally attest to this. I retired a multiple six-figure offer last year, and since then, I've generated multiple six figures from other ventures—from coaching to masterminds to new programs.

So, it's essential to ask yourself: Have I been overlooking my own role in my success? Have I failed to give myself the credit I deserve?

Running a business can be terrifying, and the fear of failure is real. But when you're tempted to run away or burn everything to the ground, remember that you don't have to navigate this journey alone. I used to try to figure everything out on my own, but now I have support—from my own coach to my mindset coach and business coach. I also have support in my personal life and through my team. It takes time to build up that support system, but even having a trusted business friend to lean on can make a world of difference.