As a coach, I’ve had so many conversations with people about lockdown. I remember one particular conversation I had with a friend and we were just chatting, catching up on our lives and what had been going on. Because I talk all things business so often during the week, it’s refreshing to have a friend chat like this every so often.

We talked about all sorts of different things, TV shows, books we’d been reading, new people we’d found to follow online, anything and everything. We were about to hang up, we’d been on the phone for some time and we got talking about lockdown, as everyone does at the moment. And I said something along the lines of, “The other day, I was journaling during my morning routine and I got kind of nostalgic. Because I thought to myself, when I look back on this time in our lives, what will we actually remember?”

It’s a valid question, don’t you think? I remember when lockdown first started and online, it seemed like all of these people were starting big home projects, learning new things, finding new ways to entertain their kids and so much more. But for me, a huge part of this time in our lives has felt like survival.

I get that this sounds a little dramatic but this whole thing has been a rollercoaster. Especially as a business owner. While I am very excited to get back to “normal”, to hug my family and to be able to go out for an amazing meal, sometimes I also look back over the last few months with guilt that I somehow haven’t done enough with this time.

THERE ARE A LOT OF OPINIONS ABOUT HOW WE SHOULD BE NAVIGATING THIS TIME…

You’ve probably seen it, noticed or even felt it, too. The vast amount of mixed messaging from every corner of the internet (a place we’re all spending more time on to escape living average days over and over again). Some people tell you to grasp this opportunity with both hands, to form new habits, take over the world, and create this brand new life for yourself post-lockdown. On the other side of the spectrum, we’ve got people telling us to take it easy, put ourselves first, and do whatever we need to do to get through it.

Whatever camp you fall into, you should feel ok with wherever you’re at. I’m running a business, helping clients pivot their businesses and planning for a baby (more on that later). Others are just trying to keep their job and keep their kids alive. And if you have nothing more to show for this time than that...let me be the first to say that that IS enough.

It’s a question that’s been lingering on my mind for quite a while now and so I wanted to dedicate a full blog post to it: when I think back to lockdown, what do I hope I remember?

Never in my life did I imagine owning my dream home before I was 30, and when that became a reality, a dream come true, I never though lockdown would allow me, Tom and our pup Lola, to spend so much quality time here together. It feels as though we’ve really found ourselves here. The openness, the quiet, the cosiness, the simplicity. The fact that we’ve fallen in love with our home even more when we very well could have gotten sick of it by now, is a blessing to how much this place means to us.

WHEN I LOOK BACK ON LOCKDOWN…

I hope that I remember our daily walks, every single day without fail. Whether they required big winter coats with hoods or allowed us to peel off layers and feel the sun on our skin. Every evening when I closed my laptop and came downstairs, we’d be excited for our dinner plans, there’d be a pup so excited to see me, and a plan to head out on a long walk in the woods to catch up on our days. We’d laugh at the way Lola walked sassily along the path and chased birds and squirrels. We’d recount our days, laugh at old memories and just enjoy being together as a family. Those walks hold most of my favourite memories and have become a highlight of lockdown.

I’ll remember how all we talked about was how excited we were to welcome a new addition to our family. How we went from just talking about it to it being a reality in the blink of an eye. The way that Tom would sit by my side and rub my back when I was having a bad day, and how calls with my mum and dad would always light me up. I’ll smile every time I see a Disney film, because that’s what I spent my mornings doing during my first trimester. I’ll remember being able to hug my Nana for the first time in months when we revealed the news to her and showing my brother, the Uncle-to-be, the picture of our scan over a Zoom call.

I hope I remember how important it was to keep up those conversations when we were stopped from seeing each other in person. From weekly Zoom calls with my Nana and Aunty when they asked me if I’d ever used Zoom before - it was a needed chat after spending once a week working at their house. From the family group chats that were confusing and hilarious all at the same time, to the texts that just say “How are you getting on?” without implying that you should feel one way or another. In a world where we have access to the internet from the phone in our pocket, it’s important that we figure out ways to check-in and stay in touch, and I’m thankful for the constant reminder to keep up those friendships and make efforts to communicate in a more personalised way.

I want to look back and see a driven business owner, pivoting, dodging, dreaming and losing sleep at night because she cares so deeply about her clients, students, and followers. Lockdown has been an eye opener for my business as a solopreneur to get back into the trenches, to create new offers, to create this business that I’ve built, and to be able to prove that it is possible to sustain and grow during difficult times.

I’ve had some of my lowest moments in business, a few too many crying sessions, and a lot of late nights. But I’ve also created some of the best things I ever have as a business owner and seen my biggest successes to date. I’ve served at the highest level as my best self, and pivoted faster than I ever knew possible. The future is bright because I got my head down and cracked on instead of worrying and overthinking. Those two things are the killer of taking action. I truly believe that.

I pray that I remember the nights snuggled up on our sofa with a mass of pillows, a dog sleeping between us and snacks on the side table, as Tom and I binge watched Gilmore Girls, Avengers films and Sons of Anarchy. We’d sit and watch just being together, with nothing left to say, because we’ve been doing life as a team in motion, day after day without wavering.

WHEREVER YOU’RE AT RIGHT NOW…

Whether you’ve accomplished the projects you’ve been waiting to work on, or you’ve mastered a new skill, or you’re coming out of this lighter (physically or emotionally) and recharged…

Or maybe you’re exhausted, tired, anxious and just proud that you’ve made it to another day.

Wherever you’re at right now, I want you to know that this season has been a huge learning curve for all of us.

It’s been a rollercoaster. It’s been filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows, and whether we like it or not, we will always remember navigating the unknown of lockdown in 2020.

So I challenge you today, while we’re still trying to get back to our new normal, to ask yourself: what do I hope to remember about all of this? In life, we’ve got to take the good with the bad, the ups with the downs, and sometimes calling out the joys and AND the harder times helps you to find and cling to that silver lining that’s always there, even if we don’t see it straight away.

And now for a special announcement…

WE’RE HAVING A BABY!

It feels like such a blessing to be able to write those words. I’ve always known I’d share our pregnancy news on this blog and I am so excited to share it and celebrate with all of you. We are having a baby, due on 1st March 2021 (nice and easy to remember!)

This will be very out of the blue for a lot of you and that decision was made intentionally. We knew we wanted to start our family in 2020 and while it’s been a really hard secret to keep for the past few months, we’re so pleased we now get to share it with you.

You won’t see too much pregnancy content from me, the best place to stay updated with my journey will be Instagram (you can follow me here). But I just wanted to say to all the women and couples out there who are yearning for a baby that we are eternally grateful that we have been given this blessing in our lives and I have faith and hope that it will happen for you too.

It’s been a rocky road over the past few months with more aches and tiredness than I ever could have imagined, but I know it will all be worth it for what we get at the end. We are feeling so emotional, happy, excited, thrilled...all the emotions under the sun!

⁣I honestly feel like everything has brought me to this moment and I want to show that it is possible to be a mum and a business owner at the same. Not every day will be perfect, but we can still absolutely boss it. Baby Bray is already so loved and now it’s time to celebrate!

ARE YOU A BUSINESS OWNER WHO’S STRUGGLING TO MAKE CONSISTENT INCOME ON A MONTHLY BASIS?

ABOUT THE BLOGGER

Hi! I’m Holly Bray

I’m an expert at online marketing, a nerd when it comes to the numbers, and my obsession is teaching others how to know what tasks to focus on so they can create a business that GIVES them life (not one that takes it away).