Why Do We Find It So Hard To Accept That We're Doing OK?
Whenever we accomplish something, no matter how big or small, it always seems like straight away, we go onto chasing the next thing. Like what we've done isn't good enough and we're not good enough. You could be exactly where you're supposed to be in your life right now and doing brilliantly - but you don't seem to think it's as good as how others are doing.
It's not always good, but it's natural for us to compare ourselves to other people. And sometimes, after a heavy social media stalk or a hefty, deep read of a blog, this can break you down and make you feel inadequate.
It makes you feel as though you're not doing as well as you think you are.
When actually, I bet you're doing more than OK.
You think just because they're working with bigger brands than you, or just because they're making more money than you, or simply just because their blog is bigger than yours, that you are somehow less than they are. You're made to feel as if you're not doing OK when you are. But you see it and you want it.
How the mind works.
I know I'm very lucky. I live with my parents, I'm saving up for a house with the man I love, I've got a wonderful family, a brilliant job and this blog.
But I've been through tears, tantrums and horrible situations that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, to get to where I am. And I know that'll be exactly the same for most of you - that you've worked mega hard to get to where you are right now.
Sometimes, when I think really deeply about it, I ask myself, how did I actually get here, to this place in my life? Because I know that I'm lucky.
But occasionally, a voice inside your heads asks, is this it? Is this enough for you to feel like you're doing OK?
Or do you need more?
There's nothing wrong with needing more. It just depends on what 'more' consists of.
But a question to ask yourself is why you think you need more - why do you always go after the next big thing when you've accomplished something phenomenal?
And scarier than that - what happens when you reach the top and have nowhere else to climb?
We're the type of community that want to push ourselves to the limit. We want to be the best possible version of ourselves. We want to look back on things and think - I worked bloody hard to achieve that, and it was worth it.
But what's wrong with being happy with where you are right now?
I'm quite content with where I am right now in one particular aspect of my life - my career. I've got a brilliant full-time job in a creative environment, I'm earning a great wage and it allows for flexibility. I know that I can carry on doing this for a while and hopefully, eventually, work my way up to becoming manager.
That's more than I ever thought my career at 24 would entail.
The fact I'm wanting to become manager blows me away - five or six years ago, I would've shied away from that opportunity.
But still - the fact that I want to aim higher means I'm always pushing myself, especially with my blog.
What more can I do to attract new readers?
What more can I do to communicate on social media?
What more can I do to refine my design?
Questions and thoughts swirling around our minds - because we can never seem to accept that where we are right now is OK.
A peace and calmness with where I am in my life right now.
People often tell you they're proud of you, or how well you've done, but you never really believe them, do you?
Take my friend for instance, she's got a degree and an MA, writes for a national title, has a brilliant blog, an amazing group of friends, a lovely family, a giddy dog and lives in a lovely home - anyone should be proud of that, right?
And I bet somewhere amongst that description, it can relate to what you've got in your life. Maybe you don't have the dog. Maybe you don't have the boyfriend. Maybe you don't have the degree.
But just because you're missing one thing, doesn't mean you aren't doing OK.
We can never have it all. Yet sometimes we want that.
But isn't it OK to not have it all? Isn't it OK for you to be alright with where you are right now?
I say it is.
Let yourself be grateful. Because you are OK. And life is OK. Where you are now is more than enough, and so are you. Do you want to look back on the past year and see you've wasted it on what you could have?
That's no way to live.
I'm not saying to stop dreaming - I'm a dreamer myself, and this blog right here is for dreamers. But don't work so hard to try and reach your dreams that you stop living in the now. That you stop appreciating every day for as it is right now.
Trust me, I've been there.
Your life is yours and it's good. Be OK with where you are. It's happening for a reason.
If you can discover acceptance and accept that you're OK with where you are in life, you'll be happier and more peaceful than ever.