Self-care isn’t selfish or idealist. It isn’t about comparing yourself to others or showing off. It’s more about belief, acceptance, and accountability for who you are.
Think about the love you have for your other half, your parents, your child or even a friend. That love is unconditional. It’s like no other. You can feel it.
Then let me ask you this - do you love yourself unconditionally?
It’s a deep question, I know. But as much as we like the idea of self-love, we can’t seem to practice it in our own lives. Sure, we’re great at being a shoulder to cry on when a friend needs lifting up, encouraging our other half when they’re going through a really tough time and celebrating big milestones with our loved ones.
But what about your achievements or problems or good times? Don’t they deserve celebrating too?
Self-love is a fundamental factor in building a fulfilling, happy and successful life.
Think about what would change in your life if you started to appreciate yourself a little bit more. Would you carry on feeling guilty about not finishing your to-do list? No. Would you feel bad about messing something up? No. Would you be scared of failure? No.
But the big brick wall that’s up ahead of us at this point has a big sign written on it that says “you’re not good enough.” I want to be better at this. I want to do better at that. We might not think it all the time, but it always seems to be there in the back of our minds.
So when you get to that wall, why not remove ‘not’ and change the phrase to “you’re good enough”.
You. Are. Good. Enough.
Would that be too difficult for you to say?
Would you be able to accept everything about yourself and your life as it is, without feeling the need to change anything?
This is a fairly contradictory thing to say, especially since one thing I live my life is that there’s always room for improvement. And surely there’s nothing wrong with that, right?
Obviously it’s motivating. There’s room to learn more, so you want to learn more and be better. But what happens when you get to another obstacle? What happens when you get to that space between success and failure where you feel like giving up?
If you tell yourself you can’t do something, the likelihood is you won’t do it. You yourself are a barrier. You’re the obstacle you need to get past. It’s like if you don’t like something about your body - your nose, your teeth or the way your feet are shaped. You feel bad about those things so you don’t do anything about them and continue to dislike yourself.
Instead, why not accept those flaws? Why not accept your weird feed, your funny nose or your crooked teeth? What if you loved everything about yourself, including your imperfections? And the characteristics that make you who you are?
Self-love means you’re more likely to be loving towards yourself in various ways - ways that you probably feel guilty for doing right now. You’ll be more likely to give yourself a break, take a long walk in the sunshine, make yourself some delicious healthy meals, tell yourself that you’re good enough.
Change is inevitable. But what you have to decide is whether you’re ready to accept the change in a loving way - so are you?
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