Something I have been thinking about a lot lately is what we as individuals actually want in life, and how our decisions affect everything. Lately, I’ve seen some of you struggling with knowing what direction to go in and how to get there. But ultimately, that comes down to knowing what you want.

Whether it’s your career, your life or your blog, we can go through a time of feeling lost and confused. There are so many options, right?

But you’re not alone.

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When we do something without really knowing why we’re doing it or why we want it, it can actually make us less likely to achieve it. Let’s say you start up a mailing list for your blog. Your initial reason for this is because:

A – You’ve been told by other people to set up a mailing list
B – You’ve seen how successful some bloggers have become due to their mailing lists

Yet you don’t have a valid reason for doing it.

So you start out sending emails and trying to grow your list without success.

Why?

You don’t actually know why you want it or why you’re doing it.

I made the decision a while ago to stop chasing the idea of turning my blog into a business. That isn’t a goal of mine now. This was a personal decision – I’m definitely not against other people for choosing to go in this direction. I just know now that it wasn’t the right path for me. Sure, I want to create eBooks in the future and I’ll continue to do so.

But ever since I made that decision my entire outlook has changed.

Deciding what you want and don’t want to do with your blog, life or career can completely open you up to creative freedom.

You suddenly feel like there is purpose in your life. You’re free to create the content you wish and you’re free to do whatever it is that makes you happy.

I love to see growth. I’m so proud of how much ABOH has grown over the past two years. But I know pageviews and readership goals aren’t what I need to focus on right now, because I’m not pinning everything on monetizing what I can offer on this space. I won’t join in with something or publish something simply for silly gains, and neither should you.

Unless that’s what you want.

You see, not only do our life experiences help us to decide what we want. They also help us to decide what we don’t want. Sometimes, that can be even more important.

Let’s say you’re starting your career. You don’t know what you want. You don’t know what you don’t want. So you try everything. That’s exactly what I did, and it helped me to cross a lot of things off my list that I discovered I didn’t want.

I am a firm believer that nothing will make you happy unless it’s what you want.

You could be in a relationship – but you won’t be happy in it unless it’s truly what you want. You could be living in a certain town or city – but you won’t be happy unless you truly want to live there.

After working many different full-time jobs, I realised that the sector I wanted to work in was education. Every little step and every tough battle that came my way, led me closer to the success and accomplishment that I now get every day.

Do I want this forever? I think so. But you never can be sure. A small part of me will always be interested in the self-employment route.

But for now, I know what I want and I’m doing it. Yes, I’ve still got a long way to go – I’m only 24. I want to move up and up.

You might have loads of different jobs throughout your life. Or you might find one and stick at it forever. Not everyone’s dream is the same. And just because someone has a bigger dream than you, doesn’t mean it’s a better dream.

Not everyone wants to turn their blog into a business. Not everyone wants to make money with their blog. Not everyone wants to be self-employed. Not everyone wants to be super-famous online. The fact that you don’t want these things doesn’t mean you’re any less than the people who want them are. It doesn’t mean you’re not as ambitious and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re a failure for not achieving goals that become “trends” – like earning six figures.

This year in both my life, career and online presence, I have faced some big decisions when it comes to thinking about what I want and don’t want. For now, I’m happy. But I’m driven. It’s in my nature. But over the next few years, I know I’ll have to make challenging decisions again when it comes to what I want.

You have experienced success. I know you have. Everything in your life is yours. It’s up to you what you want. Deep down you know. I know you do. You just need to realise it.