Sometimes in life, we’ve got to go through hurdles and obstacles to get to where we want to be. But unfortunately, we can also come to the realisation that we can’t always get what we want. You can try and try, but sometimes life is tough and it just doesn’t happen.
When things aren’t going your way, it can be frustrating, upsetting and completely demoralising. Something you’ve been so sure about and had your heart set on can disappear in front you in a matter of seconds, like the sky changing from bright sunshine to pouring rain, making you feel cold and lost.
You could spend a really long time trying to figure out the cause of the downpour and wondering why it happened. Why to you? Why now? Why after all this time? Why after you’ve been working so hard? You can go back through your journey in your mind, trying to pinpoint what you did wrong or the moment that made everything turn out this way. Usually there’s no answer - and that’s one of the hardest things to understand in life.
I’ve been in the downpour before, wondering why things just aren’t going my way. Today I wanted to share my thoughts with you and tell you how you can pick yourself back up again.
#1 | Don’t try and think of a reason
This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to come to terms with. Because usually, there is no reason. But that’s even more difficult for us to stomach. It’s easier said than done to stop guessing the potential reasons, since the voice in the back of our head likes us to revisit the past and the “what ifs” over and over again.
The first step to moving on from this situation is to stop overthinking every little detail. The truth is, you’ll never fully understand and that’s just something you’ve got to come to terms with. If you know you’re starting to look deeper for a reason, quickly turn your attention to something else. Focus on the moment you’re in and what you’re doing right now instead. Worrying about the reasons why something hasn’t gone your way is an endless quest to you having huge amounts of self-doubt and that’s something you don’t want to happen.
#2 | Pick yourself up slowly - even if it takes a while
Stand up from that dark place and dust off the negativity. You won’t be able to see it now, but this situation is going to make you a stronger person. This hurdle will help you to handle more things in life in the future - even if it’s going to be an even bigger hurdle. By realising that you are bigger than this, it can really start to point you in the right direction. You’ll be able to look at the situation differently and you’ll set such an example to your loved ones, that you can stand up and be strong in a really tough time.
#3 | Remember who you are and that you deserve good things
It can be really hard to see the positivity in your life when things don’t happen the way you want them to. But that doesn't mean you’re any less amazing. That doesn't mean you don’t deserve good things to happen, because you do. You’ve come this far. Nothing we really want in life comes easy. It’s always the things we want the most that take the hardest amount of work and determination. Things might not have gone your way this time, but you’ve got to have the belief that next time, they will.
#4 | Don’t let the bad moments define you
Sometimes you can find yourself in a continuous cycle of bad luck. And when one bad thing keeps happening after the other, it can start to weigh you down and affect you in a really negative way. You start to think that everything that’s going to happen to you is going to be negative, because that’s just how your life is planned out. But it’s not like that. You’ve got to push through the wall in front of you. Pushing through the wall is telling life that this isn't the way it’s going to be forever, the bad things don’t define you and you have the power to make positive changes.
#5 | Focus on yourself
There’s the odd time when these things happen in your life that other people can be involved. You may worry that another person is going to come off worse than you, or that something you say or do might harm the situation even more. But what I’ve learnt is that you need to focus on yourself. There’s usually a lot of baggage that comes with other people being involved in things like this and it’s probably going to make it worse by trying to get more involved. Keep your distance and focus on yourself. It’s your life, after all.
#6 | Learn from it and keep your head up
The way you behave in the different challenges life throws at you really shows who you are as a person. Every mistake and every hurdle gives you something to learn from. You can’t see it when you’re in it, but once you’ve moved on, you start to understand that it happened for a reason - even if you don’t know what the reason is. That way, when a similar situation happens in the future (because chances are it will), you can handle it in an even better way.
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Some things are much harder and more difficult to understand than others. But if you open yourself up to the fact that it’s shaping you to achieve even greater things, then those greater things will happen.
Let's chat in the comments - what do you do when things aren't going your way? Is there an important piece of advice you can share?